I’m afraid of friendship but I do it anyway.

This weekend’s first #HappinessWorkshop was beyond allllll expectations. Not that we have had expectations, but we had an image of the event and it was so much more than that! It was mesmerzing beautiful, wonderful and very very powerful. 

I am so thankful to have met all these beautiful and strong women! And as I sit there in the tribe with these magical souls I realize – I want to be friends with you – but I am so afraid. Does this sound crazy or can you relate? 

Relationships with women was not really something that came easy to me. Of course I had the friends. But I found myself bored out of shallow friendships. I love diving deeper. I love when someone talks about their fears, I love art, I love unconventional ways of thinking, I love when someone’s different, I love honesty, I love your true colors just the way you are, I love when someone lives to their very own pace. Until I found this connection I had several women who did not really have the time for me, or with whom I could not connect on a deeper level. It may be because I moved all the time in my past. I almost never lived longer at a place than 3 years or so. It was nice to be the new one because everyone was curios. But when I had to leave, it was not nice to leave. I suffered. 

Today I know that in this grown woman I am TODAY – there’s still living this little child. The child who is so afraid and scared and would love to connect, but has a hard time doing it. I’m afraid of letting you in to my life and I am afraid that if I do we can not connect deeper. But what my soulsister just told me is – and this goes for any kind of relationship. 

You’ll never find out to what it may lead, if you don’t give you and your friend a chance to connect, to dive deep, to have fun, to love. 

Got what she means ? :) You better just try and if it doesn’t work out you still have the option to let go. You let go with all your heart and soul. You let go in love and move on. That’s it. I am happy to let go – I do not want to hold on to something or someone who does not really want to be part of my life.

Can you relate? Or have you always been making deep connections so easily? Would love to know more.


This post is also available in: German

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