Let’s talk about your inside life – Comfort zone
We just came home from a wonderful dinner with close friends & family and we talked a bit about the interesting topic: Comfort zone. How about yours?
I really feel that I have no comfort zone; just kidding of course I do have one. But I am more of a PUSHER. Every boyfriend told me I pushed too much. Also my hubby sometimes says that I push enough 😀 I guess it’s just my temper. I love to push you out of every comfort zone.
If something doesn’t feel right I say leave. And I don’t mean it in a leave and run away – way, it’s more like do you love what you do? Or do you love the people you do it with or do you at least love what it brings to you or is it well paid? If not any of this is happening then I am so sorry but you’re wasting yur F*** precious time.
I believe in a life that is fun, that is filled with lovely people I adore and I believe that I have a mission to complete. To live each the to the fullest and be as happy as I can be and laugh as hard as I can. I believe in enjoying my romance and my sex life and my food and my holiday and my appartment and my kids and my JOB! Of course there is not a job, that is perfect or not a relationship that is always shiny.
Yes there are good and bad days but you do not have to sacrifice and live a life that you don’t want. You can change at any time. It is your decision.
SO FIRST LET’S SEE WHAT EXACTLY IS A COMFORT ZONE?
Simply, your comfort zone is a behvioral space where your activities and behaviors fit a routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk. It provides a state of mental security. You benefit in obvious ways: regular happiness, low anxiety, and reduced stress. The idea of the comfort zone goes back to a classic experiment in psychology. Back in 1908, psychologists Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson explained that a state of relative comfort created a steady level of performance In order to maximize performance, however, we need a state of relative anxiety—a space where our stress levels are slightly higher than normal. This space is called “Optimal Anxiety,” and it’s just outside our comfort zone.
Too much anxiety and we’re too stressed to be productive, and our performance drops off sharply. The idea of optimal anxiety isn’t anything new. Anyone who’s ever pushed themselves to get to the next level or accomplish something knows that when you really challenge yourself, you can turn up amazing results. More than a few studies support the point. However, pushing too hard can actually cause a negative result, and reinforce the idea that challenging yourself is a bad idea. It’s our natural tendency to return to an anxiety neutral, comfortable state. You can understand why it’s so hard to kick your brain out of your comfort zone.
Here are some ideas to break out
- Let’s start with easy things! Do everyday things just a bit differently. Try everyday a new route to your work place. Try a new restaurant for lunch with a new colleague and eat a meal you never tried before. Whether the change you make is large or small, make a change in the way you do things on a day-to-day basis. Look for the perspective that comes from any change, even if it’s negative. Don’t be put off if things don’t work out the way you planned. Every new experience is good! And is a way out of your comfort zone.
- Trust yourself! If you have a bad feeling concerning something. Let it be. Let your intuition guide you. Don’t do something when it feels wrong no matter what it is. Think about your choice.
- Stop pleasing everybody! This is really a bad habit. Your mom could be disappointed, your brother would be sad, your boss would not like this, your bla bla bla. You can’t make everybody and their brother happy. And more important, you don’t have to! It is your life! Of course you live it with fair respect to everybody especially your darling people, but you’re not responsible for them. Not really. You are responsible for your luck. I remember this quote from Bill Cosby:
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
- Do it in small steps. It takes a lot of courage to break out of your comfort zone. You get the same benefits whether you go in with both feet as you do if you start slow, so don’t be afraid to start slow. You do it in your own speed. If you’re socially anxious, don’t assume you have to muster the courage to ask your crush on a date right away, just say hello to them and maybe next day a How are you 😀 and see where you can go from there. Identify your fears, and then face them step by step. So try everyday a bit. That’s great! For example if you want to go for an adventure you dream of since years, start with a small part of the adventure. You would like to travel alone? So imagine a nice trip to a lovely country. Dream dream dream and dream of it. Then try something small like just go to the next railway station and catch a ticket to somewhere in your country. Maybe you live in Lucerne and you would love to travel to Paris. So start small in your own region. You don’t even have to go to a big city like Geneva, but why not a small city like La-Chaux-de-Fonds?
- Don’t compare yourself! You see this person who travels all over the world all by himself and you think THIS IS IT! You compare your story with his or her story and that’s already the mistake. You see the old friend which is now a writer and you dream also of writing but you’re not yet there? RELAX, DARLING. It’s a journey. Don’t do that. You don’t know exactly about the other person. Maybe he/she started out just as you want to now. Maybe you can learn from the other person. But don’t feel bad about you because of someone else’s life. NOPE DON’T DO THAT!
I hope this inspires you a bit to live your life the way you dream of it! Get out of your comfort zone; out there is where the magic happens.
Lots of Love, Mama Leone
source: lifehacker, a lot of info is from there but more the explanation part 😉