I am. I do not know what I am. Kinda shocked. If this is the word that describes it a bit. You know like a world collapse.
We had a lovely dinner at my mother-in-law’s place and she told me that she went to visit her sister (the sister lives on the country -side) and they had a happy experience to see how a calf came to life.
This is where the beautiful story ends. And the sad one begins.
So as they observed the process, the farmer took the calf immediatly (like really immediatly) away from his or her mother. And the mother cow cried and screamed so much and wanted to go to that baby of hers. But of course she was tied.
I don’t know what I can say too that, except that my mama – heart started bleeding. I know I lived almost vegan since I am a mother but I never really made the change completely. I knew that animals are killed to produce meat. Of course I knew it.
But what is even harder (the hardest!) for me is that a mother who just gave birth (!) to her wonderful baby has no chance to even hold her baby, touch her baby, kiss her baby, smell her baby! Not even feed (!!!) her baby – since the mik she has to produce is for our next mozzarella or so. I was heartbroken when I heard this story. It is too much for me. I know that it is not okay that one species kills another. Don’t ever get me wrong.
But for me what is really not okay is that a new mother can’t have her new baby. I think it is a mama thing. Instinct. But my instinct tells me that something here really stinks. I mean how the hell? Your baby. And you are his/her mama. I think I was not able to make the switch only for the love of animals. But today I realized I am a mother and I know how I felt after giving birth. And I know what it means when your breastmilk flows into your body. Ready to give it to your baby. I know how truly magical and still a little hurtful the first trials of breastfeeding are. And I know what it feels like when your breasts get big and really need to have a baby to nursing her milk out. I really think you only understand it when you’re a mother. But I am ready to make the change because I know about the love of a mother. And what she experiences during childbirth or animalbirth (not really a difference).
So one thing lead to another and here I am realizing that this is no longer okay for me. I can’t and I won’t get over that. I don’t know how disciplined I will be with it forever. I really loved chease. But it all really grosses the hell out of me, now! I started watching the classic – Earthlings and I really really really do NOT (!) recommend it to you. Do not watch it!
And I am very sure I want to live as healthy as possible. And the same for my family. I do not want to be a vegan warior and I really accept everyone’s decision in their lifes.
But now I am vegan.
Before that I often wondered what people would think of me when I would tell this. Or that they would think I am a very ecological person ;D. But for now I just don’t care. At all. I have to feel comfortable in my life. Nobody else. Sure all my ex (boy)-(friends) were so sure I would not marry at the age of 24. Not me. Not with my past or my character 😉 But it happend. (So happy it did!) I sure found the man of my dreams and I sure married him 😀 I just wanted to say that my instincts are what I live on.
Oh, and I don’t think that so much will change here on the blog. Only wanted to let you know about my life and what happens in it. SO I am happy if you give me your best vegan blogs or any experiences or thougths you had while transforming. Or maybe you think I am crazy. Tell me 😉
Lots of love, thanks for reading:)