Let’s face it the answer to this question is a no. Except you are buddha or Jesus Christ or Paramahansa Yogananda. But let’s face it again. The person who you are, is the person you are. At least in this life So it’s time to make some good good friends with yourself.
Here is my go-to-guide in simply being kind and connecting to yourself:
– Feel your feelings. Sounds simple. But is absolutely effective. Feel the things you feel and don’t wipe them away. Because after you feel them, they will be better. Lots. So just feel your pain, let it out, talk with your besties about stuff that is hard for you. Cry, scream, do whatever you have to do. And then breathe. Relax. It sure will be better after you feel what you have to feel. Yes it’s your right to be sad, to be anxious or afraid. The more you feel your feelings the less it will hurt. (Not in the beginning, but after some exercise)
– Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Of course this is a life-long activity, but first forgive yourself. We are all human and we all make mistakes. It’s true. And I know sometimes it’s hard. But in the end you carry around old ballast if you’re not able to forgive. It’s alright.
– Pride yourself. There’s so much you do good. Do not only see what’s not good (in your eyes) Reflect and see what you’ve done that’s so good. Like just going to work today. Or feeding the cat. Or changing your baby’s diapers. Or cooking lunch for your hubby. Take the time to be thankful for what you do for yourself. If you don’t find anything. Start caring about yourself, from today on. You are the most important person in your life. I know you love your boyfriend and I know your mama is your biggest inspiration but you are the most important person in your life.
– Learn about your misbeliefs & anxieties
Why is it that you think all men are assholes or for a relationship you have to give up your independence? Who said, did or felt that? To learn about these things, you have to dig a little deeper. But it’s absolutely worth it. Once on the surface you realize that this was not your thought but you adopted it from your mother, father, granny, sister etc. In this process you discover deep patterns and by realizing that you adopted feelings from other people you give yourself the power back to change (again).
– Do some sports. After a good (little) workout you are able to feel your body and soul and there’s something more to be proud of. I know everybody is totally busy these days. So am I. But if you don’t make time for your health. Who else should? I am still in the process of learning this, but I’m doing good, I do my workouts every week. If you really have not an hour. Here’s my recommendation: A lovely 10 minutes workout. And it won’t hurt nobody if you do it twice 😉
Of course this is not it. Like doing it once it’s all great. But it’s a great start. Like every great relationship. It requires work. But it’s totally worth it.
It’s time to love yourself. You are gorgeous! Thanks for being here!